Tuesday, June 07, 2005

In Jolliette We Trust

Due to circumstances beyond my control, such as, like, having a life and stuff, I have been utterly neglecting my blogging responsibilities. Yes, resposibilities. I feel that being the inspiration for so many other blogs, I have a duty to set a good example. It was going okay for a while there… Meh…

I’m now faced with the problem that I’ve waited so long to recount my various engaging anecdotes to my adoring public that there’s too much crap to put in one blog entry. Now I could solve this by transporting myself back to those various days I should have actually posted, and pretend to post for each event separately (I could even doctor the dates at the top, if I was really fukin’ evil) in order to create the illusion of a duteous blogger. But, honestly, the effort involved vastly outweighs the possible satisfaction of 3 comments. If I’m lucky.

So I’m going get in touch with my inner Montreal slacker arts student (part-time). It’s not lazy, it’s avant-garde, and disgustingly pretentious!

The title of this piece is:

THE last 2wo wEEks of may/conflagration/corn flakes

1.I remember nothing. Where was I?

2. Excitement. A breath of summer. Ottawa/old friends. What is avant-garde? A Russian Communist Bar. No Smoking? WTF? That is most definitely not avant-garde.

3. Rain. Rain. Rain. FUCK IT. I’m going back to Mtl.

4. Oh, Cavan, you were so pretty in the dark… and also, before you spoke. The Contemporary art museum is boring, and so are you. One day I’ll tell you.

5. Theatre students with loft apartments in the Plateau are annoying and insipid. The only way to tolerate their “underwear parties” is to drink lots of goldschlagger, and force them to listen to LCD soundsystem.

6. Hello Henry. Welcome to Montreal. Do you like bagels? Do you know who Karla Homolka is? Oh, you will.

7. Peanut butter + butterscotch chips + chocolate chips = sweet sweet perfection.

If that was frustratingly vague, esoteric and alienating then my work here is done!