Blah!

 Wow. I just realized that I, tragically, have zero
vampire-related content on my blog. I apologize for
this oversight, and will rectify the situation.
Here is one of my rejected McSweeney's Lists:
 
Where Vampires are a Valid Form of Currency, and
also Exist OR Taking Common Expressions About Money
and Replacing the Word Money With the Word Vampires
and Seeing Which Expressions Still Hold True
1. Time is vampires.
2. Put your vampire where your
mouth is.
3. Not for all the vampires in the world.
4. Vampires don't grow
on trees.
5. Vampires are the root of all evil.
6. It takes vampires to
make vampires.
7. Vampires can't buy you happiness.
8. Vampires talk.
9. Vampires make the world go round.
10. Your vampire, or your life.
11. Take the vampires and run.
12. He's got vampires to burn.
13. Give me all your vampires, or the old lady gets it!
  

> True:4,6,7,8,12